delírios expulsos, amantes passados

Rely on your fucking self. She’d learned that, all her life spent trying to fit when finally someone yelled at her: "RELY ON YOUR FUCKING SELF!"

She wouldn’t hang on to others anymore. She wouldn’t even try. She’d just do it for herself, ‘cuz that’s the only way things get done right. The only way.

And she’d start fucking up the life of that who yelled at her. "Nobody yells at me, I’m an independent lady! I’ll do it myself, don’t yell at me!". Later the mess’d be pointed to those who thought she didn’t fit. "I fit, I’m an independent lady. I do the measures myself, I fit!". Then she’d ruin those who got her raised and fed. "I can raise myself, I can feed myself, I’m an independent lady. I’ll make the rules, just don’t try and raise me!"

So she went, facing up, taking down, any and everything on her way. Just as she relied on herself, she got stronger, more confident, but not smarter. No, not smarter. Never diplomatic, mandatorily violent.

Rely on herself? NOT ENOUGH! She had to have people relying on her. People who respected her, feared her. She could do it herself, she could kill them herself, so they’d better obey.

Well, that until the day this boy decided she was prone to be unreasonable, then decided to rely on himself. And she was faced up, taken down, never really fitted.

Oh, urban kids.

KADICHARI M.